he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Still dying that you shit outside
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
