My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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