Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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