dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
