Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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