it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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