WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
