God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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