I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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