I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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