i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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