Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
