We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
