Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize