he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No...this little piggys going to the bar
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
