I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this boner is exhausting
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
