were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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