a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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