I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
