thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
