I'm going to jail i love you
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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