Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
