You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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