Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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