grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
