Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
