Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
