When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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