she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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