Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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