Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
