yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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