i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
