Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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