That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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