Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
