i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
