woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
