I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
