I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
barbara walters just said penis...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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