Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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