So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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