i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
