Got a toothbrush?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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