im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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