Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
