I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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