Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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