My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
