Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize