Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
