That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
