im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
