i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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