talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
