David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
