My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
