And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
