They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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