You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
