my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
