Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
