Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
