is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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