What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
