1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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