okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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