[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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