Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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