Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
