I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
